How Far We've Come (The West Saga)

"Never?" I asked. "You realize what that entails, don't you?"
Wes laughed quietly. "It means I'll be staying with you for a long time."
"Never..." I pondered the word.
Wes let me sit in his arms in silence, knowing that the look on my face meant that I was thinking. He sometimes got the same expression, one eyebrow slightly raised and a corner of the mouth turned down. It was our "thinking face" as we jokingly dubbed it. I wondered if this sudden intense show of affection was Wes' way of telling me he loved me. I doubted it, but I still liked the thought. Wes already knew how I felt, and I was still a little miffed that he hadn't really returned my declaration in words. He'd done more than that in actions though.
Wes moved away again and climbed out of bed. He pounded on Derek's back, forcing him to wake up. Derek was slow to respond.
"What man?" he said sleepily.
"Get up. I'm gonna play guitar and it'll be mushy. It's for Tia, you know." Wes replied, a tiny smirk appearing on his face when he said my name.
"Ugh." Derek moaned, but he got up and lazily made his way out of the bedroom.
I turned my face back to Wes after Derek closed the door. "You know you didn't have to do that." I said.
"Too bad I did." Wes said as he grabbed his guitar that had been sitting in its case in the corner.
Wes came back over and sat on the bed, his guitar ready to play in his hands. He strummed a few chords, then sang me a song I'd never heard before. His voice was a little gravelly from sleep, but it worked with the song. I couldn't really understand some parts, but it was a touching song. It moved me so much that I hummed a harmony to the chorus after he'd sung it a few times.
"What did you think?" Wes asked after he'd finished.
"It was great! Who's it by?"
"I... kind of wrote it for you." He said sheepishly.
I was dumbfounded. That was the one thing Wes and I hadn't had in common until now. I wrote songs and he didn't, but apparently now he did. And he was GOOD at it.
"Wes... You wrote that?"
He nodded.
"Oh my god. It was... amazing!"
"Don't sugar-coat it Tia. Give me some criticism!"
"I can't Wes. You have a talent for songwriting. I'm serious!!" I protested when he gave me the I-totally-know-you're-lying-to-me look.
"You really think so? It was that good?"
I nodded.
"I just kind of wrote about how I felt about you... I didn't really think it would be good."
"It was Wes. That's how you're supposed to write a song. It's how you express yourself. And you know just how to make it sound good too." I smiled, trying to show him I was being honest.
He smiled back and played a few more songs on guitar, empowered by my encouragement. I listened, content with how this morning had gone from bad to awesome. Maybe my subconscious had been trying to tell me something, but my subconscious had just been proven wrong. In your face! Well... In my face. I giggled a bit at the thought. What I hadn't thought of at that point was another way my subconscious could still be right : if I left Wesley.


Come... Come back... Come back.... Come....
The chanting coming from all around me was scaring me. I didn't know where I was, surrounded in all this darkness. I was afraid of the dark, or more like what was hiding inside of the dark. And somehow I knew I was alone. The chanting continued so long I couldn't keep track if it was minutes, hours, days or longer.
The darkness never got lighter either. It stayed pitch black, so dark I couldn't see my hand in front of my face, or whomever was chanting. After an uncertain amount of time, I heard sharp footsteps echoing from behind me. I whipped myself around, forgetting I wouldn't be able to see who it was anyways. Come back to us.... Come back Tia.... Come back....  the voices whispered, keeping in time with the click of the footsteps. They approached me quickly, almost with urgence.
Finally, when they seemed so close I could reach out and touch whoever's footsteps they were, they stopped. I squinted in the darkness, hoping maybe it would get lighter so I could see who it was. Then from the direction of the footsteps came a voice.
"Tia." It said. The voice was neither male nor female, or maybe it was both. It was smooth, and calming. But it sounded familiar all the same, like someone I knew.
"Who are you? Where am I?" I asked.
"Tia. Come back." It whispered.
"Come back? Come back where?"
"To us, Tia. Come back to us. We love you Tia."
At that instant I knew whose voice, or rather voices, it was. It was the combined voices of my parents, speaking together as one. When I realized this, the darkness evaporated, and I found myself in my old house at christmas time. More specifically, it was the first christmas my family had spent in the house. My brother, my parents and my dogs were there, all gathered around the christmas tree, waiting expectantly for me to hand out the presents. I felt the fluffy red santa hat atop of my head and when I looked down, I was already holding a gift that had my name on it. I set it down on my empty seat and watched it for a few seconds, almost like I was waiting for something to happen.
"Tia. Come back. Don't you miss us?" A voice that definitely didn't belong to my parents or my brother said.
"Who was that?" I whispered.
"Look down." It said.
I obeyed and saw my dog sitting at my feet. She looked up at me, her big brown eyes looking much too intelligent. Then she spoke. With words, not barking.
"We miss you Tia. Come back so we can play with you." My tiny jack russell terrier told me.
I was flabbergasted. Dogs couldn't talk, could they?
"You're dreaming, Tia. That's why I can talk." she said, reading my thoughts.
"But...."
"Come back, Tia."
Then, darkness again. I was back in the black I had begun in. The chanting began again, coming at me from all sides. I was so overpowered I collapsed to the ground, hands over my head.

I awoke in a cold sweat. I breathed slowly and deeply, all the while telling myself to calm down. But I couldn't. That dream was even more disturbing than the last I'd had. And I could tell these dreams I was having weren't going to get better.

The Great Escape (West Saga)

After spending all night staring at the wall by my bed, I rolled out of bed in the morning as soon as light shone in the windows. My eyes were tired, but I was determined not to sleep again that night after I'd had that dream. It had shaken me to my core, and I needed to talk to someone about it. My roommates were still asleep, and I didn't really feel like this would be a subject to talk about with them anyways. I needed an old friend, a best friend in fact.
It was early, but I knew she would be awake. I picked up my phone and dialed my best friend Anna's number on the keypad. I walked out into the hallway and waited for her to pick up. After a couple rings, I heard her answer the phone.
"He..." *cough* "Hello?" She sounded as tired as I felt.
"Anna? It's me."
"Why are you calling me so early? I need sleep!" She scolded me jokingly.
"I know, I do too. But I can't get it. I need to tell you about this dream I had last night." I didn't need to update her on the situation with Wesley. She was my best friend, she knew everything that I did.
"Was it about Wes?" she asked.
I nodded, forgetting for a second that I was on the phone. "Yeah."
"Bad?"
"Mmhmm. Well, it started out good, then got bad really fast." I proceeded to explain my dream in great detail to her, not wanting to leave anything out, just in case it was important.
After I finished, she didn't say anything for a while. I let her be silent, knowing she was thinking it over. I paced nervously in the hallway, hearing the muffled sound of my socks hitting carpet with each step I took. Finally, she spoke.
"Honestly Tia? I think you're too worried about your relationship with Wes. You worked so hard to get him, and now that you have him, you're being paranoid about losing him. Tia, he asked YOU out, not the other way around. So that obviously means he has strong enough feelings for you to ask you to be his girlfriend, and to keep you around. I think you're worrying so much that your subconscious is beginning to be affected by it."
"That makes sense. But why was it so vivid? Normally when I worry about something, it doesn't produce dreams! And I've worried about much bigger things that this."
"I don't know, really. It could be the fact that you like him so much that the worried feelings are matching that intensity. But how should I know? I'm not a dream analyst!"
"Yeah... But you are my best friend." I smiled even though she couldn't see.
"And you're my best friend." I heard the smile in her voice too.
"Thanks Anna. I'll call you later. I need to talk to him."
"Sure. Good luck sweetie!"

I hung up, and headed back to my room. Quietly I dressed myself in my favorite blue sweater and jeans, donning my worn out mocassins to match. I swiftly put my hair in a ponytail, not even bothering to see how bad it looked after my sleepless night. I just knew it didn't look pretty. I grabbed my phone off the bed where I'd left it, my school ID, and my keys, being careful not to jangle them too loud. I didn't even bother to tell Wes I was coming over, since I knew he wouldn't be awake. I knew one of his roommates would be though, and that the door would be unlocked. I was over in his room more than I was in my own now, it had been that way since Wes and I had become friends. My time spent there had increased a little since we had begun dating, but either way I knew I'd always be welcome there, no matter what time of day it was.
I headed out of my building complex, bracing myself against the cold november morning my bundling up in my Northface and stuffing my hands into mittens. I'd always hated the cold, but the chill wind on my face was starting to wake me up. The walk to Wes' dorm took about ten minutes, but it felt like so much longer thanks to what I needed to talk about weighing down my mind. I was one of the only people up this early and the walk to Wes' dorm was very lonely, uneventful, and cold.

I reached the side door that was closest to his room, even though Wes was on the fourth floor. I grabbed the metal handle and swung open the door, welcoming the warmth that crashed into me like a wave when I stepped inside. I shook off the cold and took off my mittens, then turned to begin the climb up to the fourth floor. Five minutes after I'd come inside, I was in front of Wes' door. I just stood there for a few minutes like an idiot, arguing with myself. Should I go in? Should I knock? I finally just told myself to go in, they wouldn't mind. So I did.
Wes' roommate Andrew was sitting on the futon when I walked in. He raised one eyebrow at me, knowing this was weird for me to be here so early.
"Does Wes know you're coming?" He asked, not even bothering to say hello, knowing it was implied.
"No... It's sort of a surprise. I guess." I replied, not wanting to give too much away.
Andrew nodded, and turned back to the computer in his lap. I went over to Wes' bedroom door and opened it slowly, knowing it would squeak if I opened it too fast. Wes was still sleeping soundly in the bottom bunk, another roommate, Derek, was snoring above. I stifled a giggle and slipped off my shoes. I tiptoed over to Wes, then gently crawled into bed with him, laying myself on top of the covers while he stayed underneath them. He woke up and turned himself over to see who had invaded his bed. When he saw it was me, a huge smile broke across his face, and he threw off the covers.
My heart melted to see him like this; no shirt, his hair in a mess, and completely tired, yet so happy to see me. Anna was right, I thought. He really does want me around as much as I want him around. That realization sparked something inside of me, and I smiled back at Wes.
"What are you doing here!" He whispered excitedly.
"I couldn't sleep, and I wanted to see you." I whispered back, trying to contain my smile. It wasn't working.
He smiled even bigger when I said that, and I couldn't hold back my full smile. We laid there for a long time, neither of us really caring how long. It was these moments that I lived for. Logically, there was really no reason for us to be smiling this much, yet, we were. It was the simplicity of the moment that made it so special. But I thought of why I'd actually come here, and my smile started to fade. Wes noticed immediately and his face turned to one of concern.
"What's wrong?" he asked me, sitting up as he talked.
"Uh.." I sat up too, not really knowing how to begin. "I honestly don't know how to start..."
"Just tell me what's bothering you."
"Okay. Well. You know how I said I couldn't sleep last night?"
Wes nodded.
"Well, it was because of this dream that I had. About... us."
"Uh oh." Wes took both of my hands in his. "Tia, tell me what it was about."
So I did. When I got to the part where he disappeared, Wes' eyes grew wide, and his grip on my hands tightened. He knew my mind as well as his own, and he knew what that meant just as well as I did. He let me finish, then he hugged me fiercely.
"Tia... You're afraid I'm going to leave you aren't you? Well, that's not going to happen anytime soon. Okay? Don't worry!"
I buried my face in his bare chest, inhaling his scent and never wanting to let go. But he began to pull away, and I leaned away too, looking down at my hands. He put a warm hand under my chin and forced me to look up into his face. His startling blue eyes were full of some emotion I couldn't place.
"Wes..." I started.
He shook his head, and leaned down to kiss me. Alright, I thought. I can live with this. The kiss was slow and sweet, and I savored the moment.
He pulled away, keeping his hands on my shoulders and looked me right in the eyes. "Tia. I will NEVER leave you."

Anywhere But Here (West Saga)

I had an incredibly vivid dream that night.

It began and I was standing in a field of wildflowers. I wore a beautiful multi-colored sundress that swirled around me at the gentlest touch of breeze. I was barefoot, and the dress had only thin straps. The summer sun was warm on my skin, and the flower petals were like velvet on my fingertips as I brushed my hand along them, walking in no particular direction.
I felt beautiful at that moment. I could see my reddish brown hair floating around me like a halo, and I noticed my skin was lightly tanned. I danced through the field with no reason for the joy I felt except for the fact I felt beautiful in my own skin, and I knew nothing could bring that down.
Off in the distance I noticed a figure moving. I stopped twirling and jumping, interested in who or what this could possibly be. After all, I didn't know where this was, so how would this person know either?

After several moments of waiting, the figure became clear as the sun's rays found his face. It was Wesley, and he was looking right at me. He wore a simple white button down that oddly enough, wasn't buttoned at all. His pants were a pale beige and like me, he wore no shoes. His dark brown hair was a mess, but even from so far away, I could see his blue eyes that matched the color of the sky.
He walked slowly towards me, expressionless. I waited where I was, knowing he would come to me eventually. Normally, I would have run to him, but my dream self somehow knew to just wait. He finally came within a couple of feet, and I closed the gap between us with a few quick steps.

He opened his arms and I gladly put myself inside of them, pressing my nose to his chest. He leaned his chin down to rest it on the top of my head, and I could feel his heart beat faster through his chest. We stayed like that for a long time, my dream self didn't know how long. But then a gust of wind, stronger than any other wind I'd felt out here, blew and we parted.

Wes stepped back from me, and shook his head when I moved closer to him. I looked into his eyes and finally saw the pain. Suddenly his expression turned to one of torture and sadness, and he cast his eyes downward. I felt myself breathe faster and shallower, and my legs went numb. Goosebumps appeared on my arms, and I took a few more breaths before uttering the first words of the dream.
"Wes." I whispered his name softly.
He slowly raised his eyes to mine.
"What..?" He gently put a hand over my mouth, shaking his head at the same time. With his other hand, he put one finger to his lips.

Then, he was gone.

I was alone in the field again. But this time, the colors and the beauty that I had once enjoyed seemed to be mocking me. The flowers weren't smooth anymore. Instead, their sharp thorns stabbed my fingers and scratched my legs as I fled away from the spot Wes had disappeared. I tripped over fallen trees, and my dress became ripped. My face was scratched and I tasted blood on my lips as my hair became tangled in the weeds. I tripped again and this time I stayed on the ground, slowly curling myself into a ball. I began to sob noiselessly, feeling the various cuts and scrapes all over my body begin to sting. But I didn't care. Wes was gone, just when I needed him most.

I awoke right after that, feeling sweat dripping down my face and into my eyes. My whole body was shaking violently, so much that Alex, who was in the bed above me, woke up and leaned over.
"Tia! Are you okay? You look kind of sick." She asked, worry on her face.
I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. I just had a.... disturbing dream." I looked up at her.
She stared at me, disbelief in her face.
"No really!! I'm okay! I swear!" I assured her. "I just need some water. Go back to bed."
She gave me one last look, then swung back up into bed. I went into the bathroom to splash some cold water on my face. I grabbed my towel and wiped my face dry, then noticed myself in the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy, as if I'd been crying, and my nose was bright red. I was pale, and I was still trembling a bit. What's wrong with me? It was only a dream. I thought, not really believing myself. I must have had that dream for some reason, and thinking about the implications scared me.
I decided to wait until morning to talk to Wes about it, knowing he'd be more attentive after he'd had enough sleep. I, however, was wary to go back to bed. I didn't know what kind of dreams would haunt me in there.