I'd been thinking that I'd be free from dreams that night I spent with Wes. I was wrong. Granted, the dream wasn't disturbing like the previous ones had been. It still bothered me though, since I had a weird feeling it was a premonition of my future.
I was back home, in Wisconsin, standing in my backyard in the summertime. I felt content, and Wes stood by me holding my hand. My dream self never wondered for a second as to why he was here, but rather just accepted the fact that he was.
Wes turned to me and let go of my hand. "Tia. We shouldn't be doing this."
I replied without understanding. "I know, Wes. But..."
"I came here because I wanted to visit you as a friend. I'd hoped it wouldn't be more than that. You broke up with me, because...."
"Wes, No. This doesn't make any sense."
"I know it doesn't Tia. But that doesn't mean I don't still love you."
"So then why can't we still be together? Can't I take back what I said?"
"Tia, you know as well as I do we can't take back the words that have already come out of our mouths."
"I know." and with that, I cried.
"Shhh, it'll be alright." Wes crooned.
I crumpled to the ground and Wes gathered me up in his arms and rocked me into silence. I took one last deep breath and looked up at him.
"This never should have happened, Wes. I never should have left you."
The sadness in his eyes was too much for me to bear, forcing me to wake up. I wasn't shaking, and I wasn't sweating. I was still wrapped up in Wes' arms, laying comfortably on his bed. My breathing remained normal and I simply laid there for a couple minutes mulling over what had just happened in my dream. Was this predicting me leaving Wes? I couldn't understand why my brain had latched on to my deepest fears about our relationship and continued to plague me with guilt during the night. Couldn't I just be happy for once? Apparently not.
I tried to get up without waking Wes. I thought I had succeeded until I heard him speak as I was headed for the bedroom door.
"Why are you up so early, babe?" He asked groggily.
"I just need to take care of business."
"Mmkay. Just don't take too long. You were keeping me warm."
I chuckled. "Alright."
I headed over to the bathroom to splash some water on my face. I didn't look tired at all, in fact, I looked well rested. I wasn't tired at all either. I just stared at my face in the mirror, wondering how on earth I could ever leave Wes. Was that really me? I wondered. Could I ever actually do that? I shook my head and forced myself to calm down. After all, it was only a dream, not a reality. Whoever said I had to leave Wesley?
I shook myself out again and went back to bed, snuggling up to Wes' warm body once again. I fell asleep like that, and before I did, I promised myself a normal dream pattern.
After getting a few more hours of dreamless sleep, Wes and I both woke up around 10 to start packing for the four day weekend we would be spending back in my hometown. Nervousness built up in my gut as the time for my mom to arrive grew closer. I didn't know why I was so nervous, after all, Wes was a charmer. Why wouldn't my family love him? Irrationality threatened to take over my mind as I grew more and more nervous. Finally, the phone call I'd been waiting for all day arrived.
"Tia? I'm here. In that parking lot by your dorm." My mother's voice came over the phone.
"Okay Mom." I replied.
"Are you and Wesley all packed up?"
"Yeah, we're all set. We'll be down in five."
"OK. See you then!"
I said one last quick goodbye to my roommates and checked out of my residence hall for the weekend. Wes had already done the rounds a couple of hours previously, so we could wait for my mom together. As we headed down the stairs and out the door, the nervousness in my gut was almost at a boiling point. I spotted my mom's blue CRV parked by the sidewalk that ran parallel to the parking lot. I pointed it out for Wes.
"That's our ride." I said with a weak smile.
Wes noticed, and stopped me with a gentle hand. "Tia. What's wrong?"
"I'm just nervous. I don't even know why. I mean, I know my parents will love you." I shook my head. "Let's just go put our stuff in the car. The sooner we get going, the sooner we get home." I briskly walked to the car, not bothering to wait for Wes.
As we approached the car, my mom spotted us and cut the engine. She got out and opened the trunk, pretending not to be extremely interested in Wesley. I noticed her glance at me expectantly a few times, and I finally gave in.
"Oh fine. Mom, this is my boyfriend Wesley." I choked out the word boyfriend. I'd never used the title in the month we'd been dating, and it felt weird calling him that.
Wes, being the perfect gentleman, held out his hand in a gesture of friendly greeting. My mom took his hand ecstatically and as she shook hands, I could see her eyes going over every inch of his person, taking in his hair style, lack of piercings, clothing choice, and general physique. I was positive Wes noticed too, and I felt my cheeks burn in embarrassment.
"Okay, Mom. You've shaken his hand long enough. Can we get going?" I asked, stepping closer to them.
My mom dropped Wes' hand and nodded. "We're going to get home pretty late, but I'm sure you kids won't mind."
"Not at all, Mrs. Dowding." Wes piped in.
As my mom circled to the driver's side of the car, I gently took Wes' hand before he could follow after her. "Thanks, Wes."
He looked down and me and smiled. "For what?"
I laughed, and let go of his hand. We both clambered into the backseat of the car and settled in for the 8 and a half hour drive back to Wisconsin.
